Here's a funny thing: Grant Mitchell gets beaten up by his own wife, then she is arrested and locked up for eight hours. The people most interested in this story: Britain's legion of thick, square eyed idiots, turn to their favourite paper to see the story told in pictures and words of no more than two syllables. What do they see? Nothing! Why? Well because Kemp's mental ginger frizz-headed wife is none other than frizz-haired ginger mental woman Rebekah Wade, editor of Ignorant Britain's favourite shit tabloid.
Idiots hoping to read about the incident will find only the usual collage of pictures of John Terry, Jose Mourihno, Jade Goody and Jordan, all pasted together like a two year-old child's scrap-book. There won't be any "exclusive" scoop from your soaraway Sun on this one. This is usually the sort of seedy story they love, often filling in gaps in the details with made-up parts. This time it will be interesting to see what happens.
Here in London, The Evening Standard, which is every bit as shit as The Sun, is creaming itself over the story. It's the first thing they have had to print that's not about Blunkett's posh bit on the side, Kimberly Quim. I expect tommorrow's Mirror to make a meal of it as well.
Just as we were all laughing about what a bald ponce Kemp is, we then hear that the gingery little fat alcoholic one has been attacked as well. As I suspected all along, the residents of Albert Square have nothing to fear from this pair of bald goons. You could get Little Mo to do them both with a travel iron.
