What I can't understand is how, on the one hand, we are clearly and demonstrably so shit that we lose to Northern Ireland in one of the most inept displays I've ever had to endure and on the other hand, if we scrape into the World Cup finals somehow, everybody's convinced that we're going to win it.
When I interviewed Eriksson about this, he was quite adamant that despite very poor performances, his side were a match for any side in the World. "Well", he began, "I think right now that we have a squad full of players, who are all among the highest ... erm", he paused, looking for the right word. "quality" I suggest, but he ignores me before continuing: "paid, you know in the World".
When pressed about his tactics in Northern Ireland, his smug and confident reply was "Well, for me it is always very interesting to play away and I don't think there was anything wrong with my tactics. First I am taking her to dinner before the match, perhaps to send her then one or two sexy text messages during the game, then drinks and finally back to the hotel and I am coming away with a result on the night."
I then asked him: "For the game against Austria, are you going to change anything?" and he thought for a moment, smiled and said "Well, I will perhaps try something a little different this time. Perhaps I will go into the Hotel Bar a couple of hours before the kick-off and see if I can meet a young lady there. After the match I might take her to a club, perhaps into one of the VIP rooms."
Keen to scotch rumours of "Player Power", he insisted absolutely that the players did not pressure him, and that his decisions are his and his alone. "I make my own decisions", he began, "sure sometimes a player may have some advice. For example, I have some very good opening lines taught to me by Jermain Defoe. David James is another player who is in my squad for his technical ability at picking-up. We spend a lot of time watching videos of us to see how we can improve things. In the end though, when that whistle goes, I know in my heart that I have done my research, seen all the videos and the girl waiting for me in my hotel room is the best one."
He finished by praising his long suffering assistant, Tord Grip, with this tribute: "You know Tord is always there to help me. He is not a fussy man and whenever things get a bit much for me, he is always happy to take the ugly one. He's always with me when I am on the job, helping me by distracting Nancy, keeping me out of the way of any boyfriends, holding my clothes or operating the video camera".