They're at it again, those three hilariously dim-witted, comedy clowning, pig-shit thick characters from Old Trafford. This time, Ferdinand, who plays the role of the "Brains" of the group, (a bit like Oliver Hardy's simpleton persona who thought he was clever), decided that the three fuckwits would deliberately miss the team bus, and hire a luxury limousine instead.
This had the effect of making Alex Ferguson's nose glow bright purple with rage, and bulge with all booze-induced veiny bits. Meanwhile, our hapless trio of half-witted heroes were crusing past Scotch Corner listening to hip-hop and generally acting like tits in a hilariously tragic manner in the back of a tasteless and garish stretch limo.
The three are all well known for their tradition of comedy slapstick, but Fergie has really got them working together well as a team. Each brings his own comic trademark to the act. Ronaldo has his hilarious comedy earrings and is able to burst into a comedy crying fit at will. The sort of overblown, slapstick crying of which Mickey Dolenz was a master. Wayne on the other hand has his trademark joke of slapping his forehead and whooping loudly, then going off with a middle-aged prostitute. Rio is best known for his role in the long running comedy series, Some Managers do 'ave 'em, in which he plays a bumbling, clumsy fuckwit who has a series of increasingly inappropriate hairstyles as the series progresses. His most famous episode is the one where he forgets to go for his drug test, and tries to pretend it was because he went shopping for really tasteless clothes and jewellry.
Ferguson is of course a master of directing slapstick and clowning, with an eye for picking the finest physical comedians for his goalkeepers. That little baldy French mime artist was brilliantly funny.
It's not only his keepers, as his eye for good comics extends to his outfield players. For instance, who can forget the time he had Inspector Clouseau playing in midfield against Crystal Palace, only for him to interrupt the game with a Kung Fu fight with his butler Matthew Simmonds (played as always by Bert Kwok).