Brilliant! The Tories have been filling in a Smash Hits style quiz which asks them about such things as their favourite bands and when they had their first kiss. This is the latest attempt to try and give the party a more "fun" image. The last time they tried this, they put a baseball cap on the then leader William Hague's bald head, and stuck him on a roller coaster next to some terrified children.
Among the predictably bland and boring answers came the surprising revelation that David Cameron likes miserable and traditionally anti-Tory bands such as Radiohead and The Smiths. I suspect that Morrissey, who is simply a big Contrary-Mary, mardy-arsed, self-obsessed tit who never got past the mental age of thirteen would pretend to be disgusted, but he would secretly be really pleased and would celebrate the news by staring at old pictures of himself while drinking on his own in his room. Unsurprisingly, boring little Oliver Letwin's favourite book was something like a big list of all the lamp-posts in London, complete with serial numbers. It's a shame that the only one with any interesting personality traits, Ken Clarke, who was a sort of anti-Prescott, has left the party.
All of this is aimed at getting more of what they see as "Young People" interested in the party. This, however means anyone under forty-five, and who wears a cardigan and is a bit like Timothy Lumsden out of Sorry. If you want to know what they mean when they say "Young People", don't forget William Hague's speech, when he was about twelve, the one that had Mrs. T. herself zealously clapping and nodding her approval and that was described hilariously and rather accurately by Stephen Fry as "every bit as insulting as a Tory twice his age".