Madonna is and always has been shit. "Oooh Lucky star". I remember that first shit single and I instantly recognised her enormous talent for showing off. But for some unfathomable reason, the public loved her, and are only just beginning to realise, twenty years later, that she is in fact, shit. Her recent performance on the Jonathon Ross show was probably the single, most toe-curlingly embarrassing thing I have had to sit through in my life. When she did the "rap" part, my cheeks were glowing red with shame and frozen in a state of shocked disgust, I was unable to switch the channel or even throw something at the television.
Just look at her hair! Tell me dear, what did you use to get that under-bleached orange look with grey/mousy roots? Sun-in or just Tesco Value Bleach? Her latest make-up look of ludicrous red lippy and badly applied powder is clearly copied from Bette Davis' sinister old cow in What ever happenned to Baby Jane?.
"Oooh, she constantly reinvents herself", say a few idiots. If you consider trotting out a series of similarly bland, totally rubbish, horribly voice-processed pap records, while wearing a series of different outfits from a dressing up-box and dying your hair alternately black and blond is re-inventing yourself then you're almost as big a cunt as Guy Ritchie.
Guy Ritchie: I vomit every time I hear him described as a film director. His films are like very, very poor Children's Film Foundation flicks from the seventies, crossed with mid-eighties Grange Hill. His characters are as unconvincing as Dick Van Dyke's seminal bad-cockney paedophile in Mary Poppins. Ritchie himself is, in turn, about as believable as the cockney hardman he pretends to be as all his other middle-class thesp-mates who play his two-dimensional, pretend gangsters. He has NO IDEA about how to make a film, and he had one lucky hit with "Lock Stock", which is actually shit, but just happenned to be made at the right time to be a novelty hit.
He didn't even cast his wife this time, because her "acting" in his last terrrible flop, was so wooden that he simply couldn't get away with it twice. Now that they've been booed, perhaps they'll get the message and fuck off back to their undeserved mansion and stop inflicting us with their embarrassingly bad atempts at film and music.