Apparently Angela Merkel has won more seats, but fat chancellor Gerhard Schroeder is refusing to accept defeat. So who is right?
Pre-election polls suggested a landslide victory for Germany's own Iron Lady, or Eisendame, but in the end this represents quite a bad result for her. Meanwhile, Schroeder's credibility has surely been dealt a big enough blow to make his return as chancellor untenable. As both parties scrabble around, desperately trying to form some sort of coalition with various minor parties, it looks increasingly unlikely that either of the hapless pair will be the next German leader.
There's little chance of a coalition between the pair themselves either, since Schroeder had made it clear that he "would never get into bed with Merkel", a sentiment no doubt echoed by many of Germany's men. Mind you, thinking about it, that would be more normal behaviour than the recent German craze for placing weird adverts on the internet for canibalistic sexual deviants. Perhaps German men should spend a bit more time thinking about the future of their country and a bit less having their penises cut off, fried and eaten, before allowing themselves to be killed and stored in a deep freeze.