Busted busted

Alex Pesticidus, London January 16th, 2005

Look at the picture above. It tells you everything you need to know. It is about the least Rock 'n' Roll you could possibly be, falling below even Alan Partridge and Alan Titchmarsh in terms of how Rock 'n' Roll it is. Frankly, it's embarrassing. Three choirboys sticking out their tongues for the camera, each with the most unconvincing "rock face" in the history of the universe.

You'd get a more convincing rock band by putting Aled Jones, that blond curly haired, midwich cuckoo, weirdo antiques child from Eighties Wogan shows and the fat freckled lisping one with no front teeth from St. Winifred's school choir.

To give them credit, they did at least have instruments, instead of just poncing about pretending to dance like other boy bands. However, this doesn't make them rock and roll. Charlotte Church is more rock and roll, in spite of her cater-wailing music designed for biddies and Daily Mail types, because of her propensity for falling flat on her arse, pissed as a newt. Rock and Roll is about living hard and fast with no compromises, not about going to bed early, using moisturisers and skin care products or having expensively styled hair (which looks shit by the way).

Apparently, the eyebrows one has another band called Shitcake, or something like that, and he's off on a tour of daycare centres, municipal libraries and primary schools with them. As for the other two, there's always the next series of I'm a celebrity ...