I must say first of all that for me, women always fall into one of four categories. Firstly, given my ripe old age, just about any female under thirty is a Silly Girl. Then there's the Pretty Young Thing, for example, Lulu, the actress Jane Seymour or Debbie Harry. Next you have the Fine Figure of a Woman, my favourite category, and some examples are Nancy Del'Olio and Nigella Lawson. For women that fail to fit into any of these categories, I use the term Frightful Harridan. Examples of this last would include Jackie Stallone, Christine Hamilton and of course my collegue Gilly Prior-Reclinique.
I simply don't trust this woman. First of all she's called Cherie, which everyone else pronounces "Sherry". She's done the same thing as the comedy character Hiacynth Bucket, by trying to give her name a twist of francophile sophistication by insisting that it's pronounced "Sha-REE". Come on my dear, you're trying too hard to sound upper-middle class.
She's a hard-working career woman, who is very senior in the Legal Profession, so that ought to inspire something in me, but I can't help feel that she's trying too hard to be the fine figure of a woman she thinks she is, but however much make-up she wears, or however expensively she styles her hair, she can't quite disguise the fact that she's a frightful, frightful harridan.
The delightful Mrs. Howard is a fine figure of a woman, to whom I should be most honoured to offer my last rolo. Alas, she would demur and decline because as she is a former model, she won't want to spoil her figure. She'll be keeping herself looking good rather than filling her pretty head with silly ideas about being a lawyer. She's happy simply to be by her husband's side and support him. She's much older than Mrs. Blair, but more glamourous, and in any case, she's still a few years younger than me.
This silly girl is apparently about to give birth, but she looks barely old enough to me, especially since politicians wives don't reach maturity until at least 42. Kennedy himself is like a child, except that he has the frighteningly gnarled face of man in his nineties. The pair of them look rather silly next to the Blairs and the Howards, because they haven't even got the same surname. I am very modern and I don't mind this. In fact if Nigella was to relent and give in to my endless proposals of marriage, I would allow her to keep her own name, although she will always be Mrs Wiggy to me. In fact, it's what I call her now, when I'm on my own. Even Sherry took Tony's surname, turning herself from Sherry Bootlebottom to Sha-REE Blair-Booth.
Maybe this young lady is far more shrewd than one might think in not taking the Liberal Democrat leader's name. She's probably considered it very carefully, given that in America, the Kennedy surname is both a boon and a curse. It will elevate you to the upper echelons of power, before you end up getting shot dead by your own secret services.