Thick wife says: Books are boring

Simon Coggeshall, London 21st August, 2005

The Spanish people must have a very poor view of The English, seeing as how they generally only ever meet the most ignorant, thick and ill-mannered scum. Fat, lardy retards who live on a diet of chips and lager flock to the country's beaches every year on cheap and vulgar package holidays with the sole intention of behaving in an even worse manner than the chimp-like thuggery they routinely indulge in at home.

If you read the tabloids, you could be forgiven for thinking that everyone in England worships the Beckhams, as if they are some sort of King and Queen of cool, rather than a vastly overrated footballer and his spectacularly vain and woefully talentless wife. They're both thicker than pigshit, and have no taste or sense of aesthetics whatsoever. They have given their children ridiculous, vulgar names and will use any and every opportunity to get their ludicrously dressed selves on television and in the papers. Who looks up to them? Well, other retards, of course.

There's a lot of people who don't read books at all and that's simply because they're thick and are unable to concentrate on any single thing for more than a few seconds. There's also a large number of people who do read, but it's only complete shit like Harry Potter or a Dan Brown "novel". These books may be total crap, but if you're too thick even to read Harry Potter books, then you might as well stamp your forehead with the words "I am a twat".

Now that they're in Spain, Victoria has been appearing on Spanish television and radio, reinforcing the already poor image of English people by proudly declaring her abject ignorance as if it's something to which we should all aspire. She obviously thinks (wrongly) that she's cool and that the Spanish consider her as a pop star. The Spanish interviewers must be biting their lips as they interview her in English, her command of which is almost certainly not as good as theirs, despite it not being their native tongue. She can't be bothered to learn Spanish, and is even proud of the fact that she's too stupid and lazy to bother to pick up a book and learn a single word of the language of the country in which she is living.

Shut up Victoria, you're an embarrasment to Britain. You look ridiculous, dress like an absolute retard and your pop "career" was and indeed, remains a joke.